old friends are the best gift we can give ourselves

THIS IS A GROUP OF ACTRESSES FROM DAYS PAST(THOUGH A FEW STILL WORK!)THAT I RAN INTO AT A POPULAR LUNCH SPOT RECENTLY....




When friendships undergo a test
It's often found old friends are best;
The sampler on the parlour wall
Has these few lines which say it all;
The best of friends can change a frown
Into a smile when you feel down.
The best of friends will understand
Your little trials and lend a hand.
The best of friends will always share
Your secret dreams because they care.
The best of friends, worth more than gold,
Give all the love a heart can hold.

Author Unknown.....



I love meeting people and I really enjoy developing new friendships. There are so many things to learn about one another...stories to share, memories to recall, secrets to confide...

But old friends are the best...especially as we age. As we grow older we appreciate our friends more...they have seen us through our best, and cheered and through our worst and still have been there by our side. Old friends don't care if our hair is a mess, our house is in disorder, our fridge is filled with old leftovers, our checkbooks are not balanced, our cars are littered with old wrappers, or if our clothes are wrinkled.

Our old friends stand by when we lose our jobs, when our lovers desert us, when our children drive us to distraction and even when we fail them (our friends) by not listening hard enough to them.

Old friends understand our shortcomings, laugh with us at our clumsiness, celebrate our victories and bring soup when we are sick.

I am very, very blessed to have dear and loving friends in my life - work friends, friends from high school, college and grad school, cancer friends, friends who stayed my friends even when originally they became my friends because they knew my husband first or my boyfriend first. I have church friends and "Y" friends and knitting friends and jewelry making friends. I have friends who became my friends because our children were friends.

I love all of them...every single one. They are gifts in my life and I cherish them.

my parents got married today!

Well...not exactly TODAY, but today on June 26, 1954. The brief ceremony was held at St. Louis de France Roman Catholic Church in West Springfield, Massachusetts. They were not allowed to have communion at their wedding because my father was not Roman Catholic at the time. He later affiliated with the Catholic church. My mother had to get up especially early that day and attend Mass in order to be able to receive communion on her wedding day. She wore a gorgeous dress, tight fitting waist, full skirt and lovely veil. I would never be able to fit into that dress, but I really wanted to right up until the time I got married when I was 24 (just barely...my birthday was just less than 8 weeks before my wedding day).My mother was even younger than I...and they both looked so beautiful on that day...I wish I had a picture to post....

My father is no longer living but if he were, today would have been their 55th(?) wedding anniversary..is that right??

I also hunted for hours to find pictures of the church in which they wed, but no luck there either.

But anyway... Ruth Alyce Hamel and Clyde Junior Hamlett embarked on this day to a life filled with travel, adventure, heartache, three children, joy and love....Join me in celebrating them....

sushi and sojou and sake!

I was introduced to a fun gathering place yesterday after work and enjoyed some sushi and sojou (and sake!) with friends....I can highly recommend Ruby's Table on Western - about half a block from the Wiltern Theater on the West side of the road....yum, yum...lots of fun! We had a great waiter and then later joined a rowdy group of ESL teachers and their prinicpal for toasts, laughs and story telling...I think some of the folks continued the evening by going on to karoake but I got in my little car and drive home cause I am so responsible....

awkward....

i have taken to blog surfing lately -finding wonderful and strange things...as a result, i've added a blog to my list of favorites which is called "AWKWARDFAMILYPHOTOS"...we all have them....but perhaps none as silly as this...what were these people thinking??

free positive affirmations!

An old college friend (thanks Eileen!) posted a link to a great website recently...the idea is to 'click' on a card (once you've gone to the site) and get a positive affirmation...I've been affirming and affirming and really enjoying the positive affirmations...try it - I dare you, I double dare you, I double dog dare you...go ahead...feel good.


http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/pool/affirmation-cards.htm

COPY THE ABOVE AND PASTE IT IN THE ADDRESS BAR AND GO CHECK IT OUT...IT IS WORTH IT.




Another dear friend just emailed me this and I know it makes for a long post...but I couldn't resist!!

Lucky Dog....





Anyone who has pets will really like this. You'll like it even if you don't and you may even decide you need one!

Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named 'Lucky..'

Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.


Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's other favorite toys Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer.. Something told her she was going to die of this disease....in fact; she was just sure it was fatal.

She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders. The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her...what would happen to Lucky? Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary's dog through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought He won't understand that I didn't want to leave him! The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable.

Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital. When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn't even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap.

Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn't come to her when she called It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed..


When Mary woke for a second she couldn't understand what was wrong. She couldn't move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life.
He had covered her with his love.


Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day.. It's been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.


Remember....live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a blessing from God. And never forget....the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most Credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care for us.

If you see someone without a smile today give them one of yours! Live simply. Love seriously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

rain, rain...

"Rain, rain...go away, come again another day"! Remember that little ditty from childhood days? I do! My brother and I would sadly gaze out the window of whatever house we were living in at the time (we moved ALOT as a Navy family) and sing that song, wishing hard that it would stop raining so we could go out to play. Sometimes, on warm summer days...we got to put on our bathing suits and run outside in the rain - I loved that. The steam rising from the cement and the wet smells all around.

I miss the rain. I miss weather in general having lived in LA since 1991, except for a brief two year interval in northern New Mexico. (And New Mexico has WEATHER - sudden and fierce rainstorms causing strong rushing waters to cascade through arroyos stranding cars and people, sometimes even killing them). But - Los Angeles - not much weather to speak of...in June we have what the locals call "June Gloom"...cloudy, grey days...I adore it! Soon it will be July and we will move into the unbearable heat until October rolls round. Day after bright and sunny day of clear weather...ugh.

Today it is lightly sprinkling outside and I am so content to be in my little space with my little dog. We walked in the mist this morning at 7am and it was so sweet. My patio plants seem like they are actually reaching up and enjoying the mild, intermittent showers...and I feel like the world is new. Moist, slightly smelly (in a good way) and open...like birth itself I guess.

46 so far...

46 children dead in Hermosillo... as a result of a fire in a local day care center. these children were 2- 5 years old. my hospital sent a team to help the victims, support the first responders and try to strategise a plan with the local mental health community to devise appropriate interventions for the weeks and months of grief ahead....

it is hard, at times, to make sense of tragedies like this....i, have stopped trying (for the most part) and just try to breathe and embrace the pain and suffering of those who are devastated. but - i will tell you - it takes a toll...and i suffer along with the grieving, the angry, the devastated...it is why i am a social worker, it is why my work is my ministry and it is a privilege, each and every day and hour to stand with the suffering and serve as a witness to their pain because God knows...it escapes me as to how i can be a comfort....i am so proud of Maricruz, Evie and John who traveled at basically a moment's notice into the unknown and brought grace and courage and compassion with them...i am proud to know them. they are MY heroes and it is a gift to work beside them each day. i am so fortunate. i am emboldened by their courage, blessed by their grace and encouraged by their spirits....



(CNN) -- Anger is growing in Mexico over a fire at a government-run day care center that claimed its 46th child this weekend.
Maria Jesus Coronado Padilla mourns for her 2-year-old daughter, who died in the Hermosillo fire.


Parents of the dead children and their supporters have held two noisy rallies in Hermosillo, the city in northwestern Mexico where the fire broke out June 5. They blame the government for laxity in enforcing safety regulations, for conducting a weak investigation and for failing to punish anyone in the 10 days since the fatal blaze.

"It is my fault for trusting them," parent Roberto Zavala said at a rally Saturday in front of the Sonora governor's office. "I am responsible for the death of my child. Mr. Governor: Here is one of those responsible you are looking for. Come get me. I am waiting for you."

The rally was televised nationwide by CNN affiliate TV Azteca.

"If there is no justice from the authorities, there will be vengeance from the people," Zavala shouted to great cheers.

The crowd chanted "renuncia, renuncia" ("resign, resign") toward the office of Sonora Gov. Eduardo Bours Castelo. He did not appear at the rally.

Bours told CNN on Monday that he understands parents' anguish but has not heard any calls for his resignation.

"What we are seeing is natural," he said. "There are destroyed families. It's natural that people express their sadness and, in some cases, anger. And there are those who are using this for political purposes."

The investigation, he said, is "complex and advancing."
Don't Miss

* Another child dies after Mexico day care fire
* Mexico removes official who oversaw day care center
* Deadly fire started in warehouse, official says

Mexican President Felipe Calderon has promised a full investigation.

Officials have said an air-conditioning unit in a government-run warehouse in the same building as the ABC day care center caused the fire. The privately owned day care was leased by the government to provide low-cost service to parents.

Many prominent Mexicans have joined the parents in saying the government is not doing enough to find out what happened and to punish the responsible parties.

"There are 46 children, and nothing is happening," said radio and TV commentator Eduardo J. Ruiz-Healy. "Nobody is responsible. Federal authorities say nothing major happened. There are 46 dead children, and no one will go to jail for it."

Ana Maria Salazar, another TV and radio commentator, also has voiced her anger -- in newspaper columns, on Facebook and on her blogs. Salazar, who lives in Mexico City, grew up in Sonora state and traveled to Hermosillo last week.

"I just returned from Hermosillo, Sonora," she wrote Wednesday on her blog. "Sorrow for the death of the [then] 44 children is now transforming into outrage. The death of these children has impacted Hermosillo, the state of Sonora and Mexico."

She's still angry, she told CNN on Monday.

"My concern is that there are 46 children who died in what appears to be negligence and that nobody's going to be punished," Salazar said.

In addition, she said, the government has not conducted any investigations to see if other day care centers are safe.

"What is unacceptable," Salazar said, "is that nothing has been done to make sure this doesn't happen again."

The United Nations Children's Fund's representative in Mexico, Susana Sottoli, said all day care centers in the nation should be investigated, the state-run Notimex news agency reported Monday.

Last week, Mexican Attorney General Eduardo Medina Mora said officials had found safety irregularities at the ABC day care center in 2005. He declined to detail those irregularities but said authorities are investigating if anything was done about them.

ABC day care officials denied Monday ever being told of safety problems.

Critics point to cozy business relationships between the owners of the ABC day care and government officials. News reports have said one of the co-owners is a cousin of Calderon's wife. Two state government officials whose wives also are ABC co-owners resigned last week.

In all, six officials have resigned or been fired since the blaze.

The well-regarded El Universal newspaper published a column and a story Monday taking the government to task. The article says a Universal investigation revealed that family members and political allies of the governor own at least 13 day care centers in Sonora state. The ABC day care is not one of them.

Bours, who was elected governor in 2003, called the article "malintentioned."

"Some of my relatives had those [day care centers] since before I was governor," he said. "This is a low blow by people who want to link one thing with another."

But Ruiz-Healy calls the day care industry in Mexico "a business run by politicians and politicians' wives."

And he rails at what he sees as arrogance by government officials, whose actions, he said, have led to "a total crisis of credibility."

"There have been a series of events that insult our intelligence," Ruiz-Healy said. "The political class is divorced from reality and from the rest of the country.

you are my Sonshine...my only Sonshine...

Yup - I know how to spell...I'm talking about Nathaniel (or Nathan as he likes to be called these days) - MY very own personal SONshine!

We had a nice evening together...dined on Chicken Tikka Masala, Saag Paneer, Alu Gohbi, Raita, yummy Samosas and some really great Papadam and Naan....at a new place (to us) in Canoga Park called India Palace that my friend Carol introduced me to recently. We loved it!

Nat helped me re-pot some plants and move them around the patio several times till they were 'just right'...of course, after gazing at them for a few hours now I want to re-arrange again!

We gave Matilda a bath in the sink and she is having a sleep away for 3 nights in Thousand Oaks at the 'brotel'. She is very excited.

Last week Nat treated me to a rare thing - he cooked ME dinner! He planned and shopped, cooked and cleaned up and it was delicious. You may not believe this but he introduced me to one of my brand new favorites - Macaroni and cheese pancakes! I mean it - they sound weird, but are o so tasty...really, I mean it! And if you don't believe me...try the recipe for yourself!!



Mac ’n’ Cheese Pancakes

Peanut oil, for the griddle


Butter, for the griddle and serving

3 cups pancake batter, like Aunt Jemima frozen batter, thawed, or homemade.

1 heaping cup cooked elbow macaroni, tossed with olive oil and warmed

1 1/4 cups shredded cheddar

Grade B maple syrup.

Clean the griddle by running an oily cloth over it. If the cloth snags, scrape to remove, then wipe down the griddle with peanut oil. Set the griddle over moderate heat. Pour a thin layer of peanut oil over the griddle. Just before you drop the batter, run cold butter across the area where you are going to cook. When it bubbles, drop the batter in 4-inch circles and immediately raise the heat to medium-high. Cook, adjusting the heat as needed, until bubbles appear, 1 to 3 minutes. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of warm macaroni on each pancake, then 1 tablespoon of cheddar. Using a thin metal spatula, quickly turn the pancakes and gently tap to make them uniform in thickness. Cook until golden, about 2 minutes. Serve, macaroni-side up, with butter and warm maple syrup. Makes about 12.

boys, boobs and beyond....

yesterday was filled with charm, friendship and love...such a special time, a rare and wonderful day.

i met up with 10 women who have become fast friends through our struggles with breast cancer. we range in age from our 30's to our 60's and we encompass every conceivable combination of diagnosis subset and treatment options... and we are LOVELY!

we gathered for a 'reunion' brunch of sorts and traded stories of boys (the men in our lives), boobs (what is happening currently with our disease process and health) and beyond (everything else - kids, work, travel, speaking engagements, dogs, parents, etc...)

some of us (4) had been to 'cancer camp' with AWOL and we shared stories of that wonderful experience. one of us was in the hospital yesterday (complications from lymphedema) and one of us was enjoying (!) a family cruise...

about mid-way through our festivities we couldn't help but notice another group of women - there were 7 of them...they laughed and toasted and seemed to be best friends...the groups acknowledged one another...and we learned that this group (of women in the 70's, 80's and 90's..one was 97!!!) are all Hollywood actresses. Some of them still working! when they learned that we were all breast cancer survivors they applauded us. we applauded them for being such lovely and strong survivors of their own. when the two groups finally merged (as women are wont to do) I asked the 97 year old for her secret to a long and happy life..she said...SEX and keep moving...always move....i told her i was currently without a man in my life and she winked broadly (with false eyelashes) and told me..."but my dear...there are so many other options"!! we all hugged and laughed and celebrated the power of women.

what a lovely and wonderful day....Bonnie, Penny, Donna O, Donna J, Mary, Medik, Tapia, Penny, Dikla, Fran, Mia, Karen...i love you all!

no energy today...

...therefore, no post today either....

can you spell S-H-I-T-T-Y- D-A-Y??

Friday was a bad day, a really bad day....my son and I switched cars back...he had learned to drive a stick shift and taken my MINI for the 3 weeks after my surgery when I couldn't manage a stick. So, I drove it yesterday...to the hairdresser to get spiffed up before going back to work on Monday. The car didn't feel right. But I chalked that up to not being used to the feel of the shifting and a bumpy little sports cars. Afterall, I had been driving (though very little) Nat's lovely little Corolla which feels like riding on a cloud.

After a bit I realized something was WRONG! Despite flooring it and having the RPM's go all the way to 5 or 6 I wasn't moving. I got almost all the way to the garage that my dear mechanic Karen owns and it stopped. Not stopped on the side of a quiet little road somewhere - it stopped in the middle of a huge intersection in the left turn only lane. The Angelino's around me were none to happy and being the reserved and thoughtful people they all are - did not hesitate to show their irritation. Horns blaring, drivers swearing and me...trying to figure out what to do. I was just a few blocks form the garage so I called Karen and she sent one of her guys to push my car across lanes into a safe place while I called AAA. The flatbed arrived, Pepper got towed and Karen told me that bad news. Almost $4,000 for the repair of the clutch which is totally burned out.

My initial reaction (sorry Nat) was to blame my son for not handling my car properly during the three weeks he drove it But he is a very good kid and insisted that he drove it carefully and he had been taught to drive my car by another dear and trusted friend who said that Nat had mastered the skill impressively.

After some research it turns out MINI's are notorious for burning out clutches. Why did no one step forward to tell me this? When did I not read this information which is readily available online before purchasing the damn expensive but very cute and fun car?

And yes, I purchased the extended warranty and no - clutches are NOT covered...it is considered normal wear and tear!!!! OK - but there is only 14,000 miles on the thing.

So, I calmed down. I am resigned to more credit card debt (UGH). I became grateful that this didn't happen while Nat was driving the car or while I was on the freeway....or more than a mile from the mechanic!

So - I got home and wanted to call a few friends and tell my sorry tale of the day only to find out that my home phone doesn't work! This happens every time it rains....the outside lines must get wet or something...so Friday...glad it's gone!

today was peaceful

i had a lovely day today....calm and peaceful.

Nat and I met for a breakfast/lunch at one of our local fav's "Nat's Early Bite"...i had the tuna pita and he enjoyed the comfort of grits with cheddar, scrambled eggs and toast ( i think it was rye). from there Nat patiently accompanied me to Gelson's where i hung on to the cart for support and slowly (o so slowly) perused the confusing aisles of groceries....while he conducted his social life on the phone with texts and calls....

i couldn't wait to get home to lie down. he graciously unloaded and put away the food and then kept me company for about an hour....before he took off for Thousand Oaks.

a friend of mine from work gave him a lead about a possible shared apt and he will go on his own to check it out tomorrow.

i have nothing exciting planned for the next few days...a haircut tomorrow but after that - a big fat NADA which seems just fine. i need to garner all my energies so that i am ready to go back to work on the 8th.

June has a lot of 'holidays'...Meredith's b-day, Kirk's b-day, Father's Day, Harriet and Dick's anniversay, Paul's b-day...what/who have i forgotten??

sweet things....

children, friends, family, work, dogs, travel, babies, sharing a meal, making a bed with someone else, taking a walk, holding hands, the ocean, the sound of a train's whistle, daydreaming, a job well done, a blooming plant, singing in church, an unexpected card or letter, a surprise phone call, paychecks, a clean kitchen, soft sheets, a nice glass of merlot, picking up a loved one at the airport, giggling, warm bread, lunch dates with friends, a compliment, hugs, kisses, a smile from a stranger, learning that your car doesn't need major repairs, a good medical report, negative scans, a heartfelt thank you, communion, a good swim, martinis, eggplant parmesan, pictures from someone else's vacation, grandchildren, a new baby, ringing a door bell, packages, a decaf latte, puppy breath, popcorn in the dark, a rousing game of Pictionary, sending someone a present, nephews on the beach, little brothers, a good book...friends who will read my blog and not complain of boredom!

"happy feet"

Happy Feet is the professional clown name of my former mother-in-law....she was a dancer in her younger years and when she became a clown - the name seemed a natural!

I had happy feet yesterday and come to think of it...happy neck, happy hands, happy back, happy shoulders, happy scalp, happy face, happy legs and a happy smile!

There is a rare and special treat available in Koreatown for only $20. It is a one hour foot massage. You begin by having your legs and feet dunked into a wooden barrel filled with steaming tea water. While your feet are soaking the massage 'therapist'(?) begins to work on your back, neck, head and shoulders. All this is done while fully clothed and seated on an ottoman with 3 pillows in your lap to rest against. The ottoman and recliners are in an open, darkened room illuminated by colored fairy lights. After about 20 minutes or so you are assisted into the recliner and the massage treatment continues. Despite me not speaking a word of Chinese - 'my' body worker and I communicated quite well. When I said sharply - "OW - too hard" he slowed down and went softer.

This was an incredibly restorative 60 minutes...and I happily tipped him 25%. If you want a similar experience go to Man Han Tang on South Western Ave in Los Angeles. It is directly across the street from El Chollo...so next time (and there will be a next time) I will complete the encounter by enjoying margaritas and carne asado....but who will drive me home???

dehiscence

those who know what this word means know that it is not a good thing. it is what is happening to my surgical incision on the radiated right breast following reconstruction surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago.... ugh. it is a known and somewhat anticipated surgical complication, but i was hoping to be spared...figured i'd paid my dues already....what with the whole cancer thing and all...

please send gentle healing thoughts, prayers and energy to my right breast tissue...think knitting. think strong cells clutching on to one another and holding each other tight. think wholeness. think good vascularization. think edges sticking together...think only positive thoughts, cause right now...mine are being challenged.

thank you.

n.a.t.h.a.n.i.e.l

on Sunday i spent an amazing afternoon in the company of Nathaniel Anthony Ayers, Jr. and Steve Lopez - LA Times columnist...and my friend Carol.

we saw "The Soloist".

it was a disturbing and eloquent movie - a bit heavy handed in places...but such a relief from the "smash 'em up...knock 'em down...exploding" movies that the theaters seemed to be filled with these days....

i don't know if there are any recordings of Ayer's cello but i plan to look...meanwhile...give yourself a little gift and spend some time in the dark, with strangers and maybe a friend, munching on popcorn and getting a glimpse into something magical.

the magic is there...we just need to recognize it.